Monday, April 26, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
It's the Momsie's birthday and I've been brought up to appreciate these days a little more than usual because as we age, we should only be so grateful to be as healthy as we are and as happy as we could be. It's a special occasion and I really want to be home to give her hugs and kisses as many as she deserves it.
I honestly don't know how people stand being apart from their families so. I for one, am not afraid to admit that I cannot survive without them because I'm just not strong enough to.
My mother has always been there for me, through my ups and downs and though I know sometimes it hurts her to see me in pain, she'll always be there to hold my hand and carry me through (not literally laa!). I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.
Being a working night, the cinema was pretty much empty with the 2 of us + 6 strangers. But it was good. So we were comfortable.
Midway through the movie, the boyf put his arm around me and I felt safe. So, so very safe and so very secure. It's like I belong there in his arms.
After the movie when the lights came back on I was just admiring the boy whose hands I was holding on to tightly like my life depended on it. The way he makes me feel is just unearthly. Such a man he is.
Until we reached the staircase, of which he let go of my hand just so he could slide down the bar by the side of the stairs. When he turned back, there was a grin on his face as if satisfied. And I stood there, admiring the child in him which I'm so very crazy about.
Monday, April 19, 2010
I mean, why does it happen, why does it have to happen and what happens next.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not an emo person who's always been unhappy that I've never been in a relationship or the such. I am also not one who'd say "I'm so happy being single" because I can't find a boy.
Not at all. That will be a lie- straight out.
I've been in my own fair share of relationships. In-and out. Out- then in. I believe it's healthy in a way because with each person you've dated, you learn a little bit more about yourself. Now, I'm not complaining about my past relationships. They've all been fun and relatively healthy and I was happy then, too. So, no complaints about most of my past, no-siree. I daresay that it helped shape me into the person that I am today and the person I can be for my family, friends and those important to me.
But last night something happened between the boyf and I that changed my impression of bgrs forever. My definition of a bgrs prior to this was as I was brought up. Making sure that this person is (apart from the chemistry between us) loving and caring, he's got to be loyal and able to provide for me in our future together. Of course there's a whole other list, but hey, I'm sure its pretty generic.
What I've been missing out is a friend in the boys I've dated in the past. It's always been boyfriends. But a companion is defined as being first friend then partner, not the other way around. I've always missed that and it's a shame because I would have appreciated my partners more in the past if they were my companions. Now, however.. Is not a time for regret because I'm thrilled that I've realized this now.
I've found a friend in the boyf. He makes me laugh and sing and skip without having me to feel silly about it. He joins in my singing with his adorable out-of-tune songs and takes bigger steps everytime I skip around to match my pace. He never puts me down and always laugh at my jokes. But most of all, he listens to me like your best friend would and never says that my thoughts are unnecessary.
So last night ..we laughed a the silliest things and giggled at every movement the other person made. I don't even remember what was so funny anymore, just the fact that we couldn't stop laughing. I was beyond happy, ecstatic even because he lets me be the child that I am without judging me negatively.
And that, peeps.. is what I like to believe as a strong foundation of a good bgrs.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Today the boyf and I decided to take a walk because staying indoors was unbearably hot and not to mention claustrophobic, and the weather was pleasant with the sun about to set soon.
It was a wonderful half hour, we chat bout things and caught up about life and just getting to know about each other’s thoughts about the events of the day.
I was happy. My life is, albeit in a mess at the moment, but we’re very happy together. We both lead healthy lives and we’re good people- there’s really nothing to complain about when you think about it. Of course, just like everyone else, there are so many things that we’d like, so many aspects to improve on, but in general, we’re contented and there shouldn’t be anything to complain about.
On our way home, I saw a person I’ve only ever see from far, always walking around alone and doing things by himself. And today he was sitting just right in front of me, eating, prolly having trouble putting the snack into his mouth because from an early judgment, he might be suffering from what is known as Tourette’s Syndrome. He, has a tic. Prolly more than one, too. Or he may actually have something else.
I felt sad. Saddened by the fact that he may not have any friends. That people tend to avoid him because he is different. Maybe he is, but if he’s a university student then I don’t think he can be very stupid, okay!
But he’s always alone when I see him, and he’s always just about like nobody cares about him. And I felt a sudden pang of sadness. For him and for the likes of him. The social stigma that comes with their conditions.
So, when he looked my way I gave a him a big smile. A grin as wide as my face would allow. And he smiled back. I teared.
Maybe I should talk to him next time.
After all, this is something I plan to do in the future. To help the disabled, especially those who are not as mentally healthy as most of us are.
Might as well tough it up now and get started. Now’s as good a time as any other, right?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
First of all, I'm from Malaysia. It's pretty much on the equator, therefore, no such thing as daylight savings. The light is pretty much the same every day of the year and the night is about there.
Now, this is the first time in all my life I've ever experience having to change the time on my watch, without travelling anywhere. Yep. Just stand in that same spot and change it.. Meanwhile, my phone changed the time on itself. Coolness.
So, the day becomes longer, or shorter, I don't know. Shorter, I think. Since it gets dark by 5 ish (which is totally and absolutely ridiculous because I'm so used to it being dark by 7ish. So, we tire really easily and prolly for the first time of my life I'm actually ready to sleep by 9.
Unfortunately, I'm also done sleeping by 6 in the am because the sun would already be blaring into my face by then. My first thought every morning since has been "what in the world am I doing here?". Take me home!!
Ahh. The wonders of the world.