Of Weddings & Marriages.

I discovered a new distraction.

.

.

.

.

.

Vimeo.com

And I’ve been watching wedding clips. And I feel so happy for these people.

I’ve come to another point in life. My friends are getting married. Some already have kids. Others are planning for their weddings. Those aren’t engaged are thinking about the prospects of marriage with their partners. Those without partners are anxious because apparently, they are running out of time.

And me?

 

I am, as always, still my mama’s girl. I don’t want that to change anytime soon. And I refuse to be pressured by age and time.

I am happy with the Boyf and we are, as I would like to think, very ideal for each other. He completes me and makes me a better person every morning and every day. I cannot say I have anything to complain about, and I am not saying this to make him look or feel good. I just think that we are very good for each other. After more than 1.5 years, I still feel like I’m falling more in love with him each day, because he gives me reason to. And we are definitely not falling into any form of routine yet, which is great, in my opinion. Most important of all, we are not settling into a comfort zone. I’d take this as a very good sign because I’ve settled before, and I’ve fallen into the trap of being in a ‘comfortable’ relationship before, and I don’t like it. Complacent. Don’t get me wrong. Comfortable is good, when there’s still the prospect of making things exciting every now and then. But ‘comfortable’ is cruel when partners and lovers start taking things for granted with each other. And worse, taking things for granted. And it is from then on that things start to spiral downwards, and that is when loving him or her just isn’t enough anymore.

So, back to watching clips of peoples’ weddings. I’m loving it, the bride, the groom, the gown, the flowers and the people. Most importantly, the love. In fact,  I think that I might have turned gaga at the prospect of having a wedding for that very sake. A wedding! Me, getting wed. Phew.

Unfortunately, the whole constitution of marriage just doesn’t attract me at all. As far as I view it, getting married is not a priority in my life. Plainly put, I do not think it is for me. The very definition of marriage has been changed by the prospect of legal separation and divorce. And the fact that you’re getting married while considering that divorce is an option out  totally dissolves the very point of marriage, isn’t it? So, no. It is not that I do not trust the man I want to be with. But we all make mistakes, and hey, I have yet to meet enough married couples make it through thick and thin to make me believe that it is the right thing for me..

I suppose it’s got a lot to do with my culture and the way I have been brought up.. The generations before me did not make a good impression on me. I do not see ‘happily ever after’. Not that I expect it without a lot of sacrifices, hard work and commitments (which I am willing to do), but hey, I’ve seen more marriages dissolve into two-people-not-even-being-able-to-be-friends-but-still-sleep-in-the-same-room (resources do not include information on whether or not they still share the same bed, but you get my drift) than I can count with all my fingers and toes. And I am not blaming them for their mistakes and weaknesses, but I sure can thank these people for showing me how it might be being on my own two feet.. And it looks brighter than heading into the dark zone of being tied to a wrong partner. No offense to anyone in particular, but let’s just say you’ve scared me off because I don’t want to end up in a rut the way you did. All of you, in general.

As for now, I am happy with the way my relationship is working out with the Boyf. And we’ve talked about our future together, and marriage is still a long way, if it even come into our plans. For the next couple of years,we’re putting our education ahead of any plans that might change the equilibrium of this priority.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying no to the prospect of marriage in my life, not yet anyway. Neither am I opposing those who decided that this is what they want this early in life. I’m just merely stating my views on it and that for now, I’m happy not pursuing it.. A marriage is more than just a wedding. It is a commitment that lasts this entire lifetime.

I’m happy the way I am now. We are happy the way things are now. Very, happy.

And for all of you who are into these things,
I wish you love and happiness, that may yours be a marriage that inspires others.

 

 

Oh, but wouldn’t it be nice to be a bride.. Grin. I’ll settle for bridesmaid for now =p

 

Xx.

Intellectual Disabilities

For the sake  of people who are bombarding the people closest to me with questions about what I am doing here in Australia..

I volunteer at a disability centre. Intellectual disability centre. I have been doing this twice a week for several months now, and I am happy doing it. It is something I look forward to most days, and apart from having to wake up at a ridiculous hours of the morning on the days that I go to the centre, I actually don’t mind waking up. On the rare occasions that I dread having made this commitment, I regret feeling so the moment I walk into the centre and see the smile on their faces.

You see, I’ve become accustomed to them. I have to admit that right at the beginning I was a little bit apprehensive about this decision, having to work with people who not only have the mental age of about 2-5 years old, (some of them even have the emotional control of a 2 year old), but these people look a little bit different. I’m not saying like, Down Syndrome different. We’re talking about 50+ year old kids who can’t control their saliva and take care of their hygiene, heck, some have problems eating like the way we do. What worried me most was, communication. Some cannot even understand simple words, and some of them cannot speak properly. I was worried I might not be able to cope with their indifference.

Fortunately, they welcomed me into their group unceremoniously, but warmly. Over the months, I’ve seen their attitudes change from ‘not preferring me’ to ‘shouting my name from over the other room so that I help them out with something’. For example, one of the girls, who previously did not like me touching her things at all was calling for me when she saw me pass by the room she was in, and even though she knew I was not scheduled to assist in that class that morning, she insisted to wish me good morning before turning back to her own work. Awww. She remembered my name, and I didn’t even know when she had started learning it.

And this is why, I fell in love with going to the centre. The boyf’s getting sick of the fact that I cannot stop talking about it, and the people whom I work with, and the people whom I help with. Twice a week, I am reminded why I am taking this difficult road.. Most of my peers have started on their postgraduate pursue, and I am still stuck with no proper plans for the future until a university accepts me into their Clinical Psychology program.

I know that I’m saying might give you the impression that I’m really doing good, that I am indeed helping those who needs it, who needs me (a girl who’s got nothing but a better mental functioning), but really, it’s the other way around. I am not ashamed to admit that I am doing this for selfish reason. Because in truth, it is I who need them. Every time I walk into the centre, I feel the innocent love that only they are able to produce and I am once again reminded why I want to do this. I am passionate about helping them because the radiation of their innocence give me  the satisfaction that no other job could possibly provide me with.

I want to be able to help them, and the likes of them. And I want to be able to assist those whose kids are for whatever reason, like that. I want to be able to help those who are not able to help themselves. And I believe that, especially those with higher mental functioning, there is a way to bring them back into society. But there is no way I can do this without having that damn degree.

Every career pathway is about education these days, and unfortunately, I picked the road less taken.

All I ask from you, are prayers and hope. I know that someday I will get accepted into a university here in Melbourne, because I am a very good student. I just have a lesser background because I am not locally educated. So, keep me in your prayers if you’re religious and if you’re not, keep me in your hopes and dreams.. And in return, I promise to make it my mission to continue serving and helping the intellectually disabled. I feel that calling and I know it is my vocation. So, help me God.

(I have heaps for photos of them, but for their privacy’s sake and the centre’s policy, I cannot post them here.

But I’ll be happy to show them to family and friends).

Xx.

Stuck on Bruno Mars

The first time I heard “Billionaire”, I  could not get it out of my head. It was literally stuck in my head 24/7.
Now, with “Just the way you are” playing on the radio all the time, I can’t help but feel envious towards that girl whom he’s singing to. Maybe nobody, but hell, Bruno is definitely the top on my list of ‘wanted’ breath-taking singers whom I’d like to meet.
Kudos to him- singer/songwriter, heck, genius in fact, for coming up with not only such a catchy tune but also lyrics that any mentally healthy girl would die for a man to sing to her.
Lovely as that song is, I came across a slightly different version of this song on Youtube by Legaci. And I’m absolutely loving it.. I’ve been listening to their cover versions for a while now, but I just can’t stop watching this particular one that they’ve come up with.

Just the Way You Are–Legaci

Personally, as an amateur singer in choirs and all, I’ve always been attracted to those who sing the base parts. So, I’m loving Daiyel. Grin. But as a group, they are soooo good, I cannot emphasize enough how much I love their ‘almost’ acapella version of songs.
I am such there are many others who are as good out there, as you might have noticed just by surfin’ on Youtube. But this is one of my personal favourites =)
Here’s one more from Daiyel which I love to watch, more because I love the song than anything else.

I’m Yours–Daiyel

 

I’m not really a big fan of anything per say, so I’m not starting a fan page or anything like that.
But hey- if they’re good, they are good..

 

Xx. 

This is what being away is all about..

Over the weekend..

I had a small celebration with some friends. Nothing too big or eventful, but nevertheless, it is the thought that counts.

Photos courtesy of Claire MinKyeong Kim, Monica MinJung Kim, Nick Betts and my own camera..

.. While we were waiting for transport

Damn paparazzis ! =p

@ Yak Bar.. Bit late for the reservation we made for the restaurant, so had to wait by the bar.

Boys bored..

These mirrors were obviously not meant for Asian sized girls..

No idea why they decided to wear the same colour but it turned out so nicely..

And the occasion? My birthday!! .. Well, early birthday celebration. A couple of days too early. So, the last thing I was expecting was.. A CAKE! From Secret Recipe too. Muchas gracias, Nick!!

I have a big arse knife and I am not afraid to use it ! =p

 

And we all went home drunk that night.. Grin. NOT ! We were well behaved despite that bottle of wine and other bottle of champagne.. Gotta say that I’m really proud of moi!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Thank you all, for making it such a wonderful occasion for me.. Especially since it’s my first one away from home
=( .. Can’t deny that I miss home very, very much.. But you’ve all provided a great distraction to that void. And for that, thank you @Alex Pava, @Monica (MJ), @Claire & @Nick Betts !

Xx.

Nails and tales

Over the past few weeks, my finger nails have been progressively getting shorter and shorter. If it’s not because of a chip, it’s caused by a crack. And I get so fed up, so I just cut them shorter. It grows a little bit more, and I cut them short again.

Now, everyone who is close enough to me would know that I am very anal about my long nails. Personally, I find that nails can tell a lot about a person’s personality- how one keeps them and how one takes care of them. Lol. Yeah, somehow it’s these little details that keeps me attracted to people =p And I mean girls too. I’d stare at them all night if I thought they were hot, not in a “I am attracted to you” way, but more like “Wow, you’re hot. Now, how do I replicate that without being your clone” type of way.

That aside, I take pride in my nails. I love them long and pretty. I rarely ever keep them short, because I don’t like it short. Sheesh. And this has been ever since I left school (except for the rare occasions that I have to keep them short for piano purposes). Anyway, I’ve been having bad nails of late, and I suspect once again it’s caused by the Australian dry weather. Possibly.

So, the other day, I decided to do something for them once and for all. I got them done! Bio-Sculpture Gel style, baybeh!! Lol. Not only did the manicurist fixed all my  broken nails with some silk thingamabob, she totally made it look so natural I don’t even feel like my nails have be “done up”. It’s a little too early for me to judge the effects of this new found discovery, but so far, I’m loving it because I don’t look like I just bit my nails off with a saw anymore. This totally suit my lifestyle because I’ve never been the gentle and slow moving girl, I’ve always been more of a kick-the-chair-and-knock-my-hands-onto-the-table-at-least-once-a-day kinda girl, so, now I don’t really have to worry about breaking another nail. At least for a next couple of weeks.

Not the best shot ever, cause the boyf isn’t very good at snapping photos =p

But I’m pretty now =b

Xx.

Sometimes it's just a little too late.

A couple of months ago I was complaining about the boyf being stuck on WOW.


Now, I was never brought up with these type of technology, admittedly as a child I was envious of my friends whose parents got them video games and computer games whilst mine never got me any. As a result of that, I have never been interested in any kind of games and could never understand how it can be so interesting as to take over one's life altogether. 


And so, with the boyf's persistence, I decided to give it a go. He plays a long list of computer games (and still managed to be a smart arse in school) and I decided, hey, let's try WOW because he often plays it with his younger sister and I'd like to be in the loop too. 


Here what's I gathered after playing for the past 2 months:

1. It is, indeed an interesting game that WILL consume your free time if you do not have control over your addiction.
   
2. If you start playing  from a young age (any game at all, not necessarily WOW per say), you'd be quite good at it, because it is not too difficult learning how to play it.. (Either that, or I have an expert of a boyf who already knows all the back roads and alley way to this game).
   
3. If you're a late bloomer, like yours truly, there is no way in hell you'll pick up this game and be an expert in it, ever. And you'll forever have that expert boyf of yours breathe down your throat because he expects you to play as well as him or his sister. (Either that, or I just am very bad in reading maps and have atrocious eye-hand coordination).
   
4. Always start with a druid. Because you can choose to be DPS, Tank, or Healer.. (I did awesome DPS and now, I think I might double spec it to be Kitty Cat Meeeow!).. I'm also the pretty night elf, btw =p
   
5. Get a damn wireless mouse and always remember to charge it! I really hate it when I have to play while it's connected to the charger. But investments, are, as always.. worth it.
   
6. Alliance really suck when it comes to battlegrounds. Really, really, really, suck. (Note to self: get a horde).
   
7. Always play with someone who's got control of his/her addiction of the game. Otherwise life will pass you by before you even know it. Grin.

So, there. I can learn all the theories and alley roads if these game, but I honestly believe that it is too late for me to be excellent in this game.. 

Xx.

Tivo! My Guilty Pleasure.

This morning I woke up, and for the first time all week, I did not have anything urgent to attend to. Well, I do, but shopping plans only starts later =b But I did not have to be somewhere by 8, 9 , or 10 in the a.m., for a change. 
So, I woke up (surprisingly early despite the fact that I planned to sleep in late), checked my email,fb, msn, twitter and the such, and what with the rainy day outside, I decided to watch some tv because I haven’t done so in ages! Guilty pleasures..
And this was when I realized ..that all the tv shows I absolutely have to watch begins with G – in order of loves; Grey’s Anatomy, Gossip Girl & Glee!! Yeay!
I’ve been trying to watch Vampire Diaries since everyone’s talking so much about it. Lol. I don’t mind watching it if I’m dead bored and have nothing else to watch. BUT, it’s not my kinda chase.
Ooo, and The Big Bang Theory. Must watch ever! Absolutely love it.
Admittedly, I love my Hong Kong & Taiwanese dramas too! Haven’t come around to the craze of Korean dramas yet, don’t know if I would ever come to my ‘senses’. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure they’re good but I don’t get watching something I don’t understand.. 
What is your favourite TV show? I’d love some recommendations because I’m getting a little sick of waiting for each episode to magically appear by the week. Grin.
What will I do without tv shows? Ahh, you changed my life forever.
Xx.

Of dust mites and nasal sprays

So, I’m Malaysian.

As well all know (at least I hope we all know), Malaysia is on the equator. And what does it mean? It’s hot. All the time. Hot and hot and hot. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year! In addition to that, Mother Nature decided to throw in humidity as well, as a complete joke to us ‘Equatorians’. I know that about a quarter of the earthlings might appreciate that, I don’t really know if I do. First of all, my sinuses seem to have an issue with the humidity and heat. Every morning, without a damn fail, they’d get inflamed and as a result I have running nose everyday the moment I wake up. Now, every time I get out in the sun- My nose acts up as well. And, every time I switch from a cold environment to a hot one, say, a drop or increase of 3Celcious or so, my nose acts up. And this may be a psychological problem because if I don’t tend to my problem soon enough, I’ll literally catch a cold and be sick for the next couple of days – lethargy, running nose then blocked nose, inflamed throat, sometimes cough, the works..

Dust, does it too. So do cats. Oh, and certain types of alcohol make me chain-sneeze, too (can’t say I’ve ever noticed that, until the boyf’s mom pointed it out). And the list goes on.

As a result, I’ve developed a tolerance to the ‘relatively’ cold temperature despite being from a hot country. My air-cond is always set to 16-18Celcious when I have things my way. Also, I always have an ‘emergency pack’ on me. Tissues (always Kleenex, because they are the softest IMO. I’ve tried everything available in Malaysia, and everything else scratches the skin under my nose after the 3rd wipe or so..), anti-inflammatories or anti-histamines, medication for runny/blocked nose (2 types; drowsy but good, and non drowsy but not as good), Vicks and the such. And this is just to be put into the handbags which I bring out with me every day. You can only imagine what I’d have to bring when I’m travelling.. Once I forgot to do so, and I was unlucky enough that my sinus turned into cold (the boyf insist it’s not physically possible, and I’m not voting out a psychological problem). Thankfully, it was only an overnight trip with a bunch of my girlfriends, but I wasn’t having a good time at all.

Coming to Australia (at least in the Southern parts) have changed my life for the better, with regards to this. I haven’t had a single problem with my sinuses since I got here a few months ago *touch wood* and I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with that problem anymore, hopefully.. At least I’m not triggered by the usual things that used to affect me back home. Sometimes when it gets stuffy in an enclosed area, my nose starts to itch but with a little spritz of water on my face or a whiff of Vicks and all is well. The boyf was worried that I might catch this hayfever thingamabob since it’s spring now, but nope. Not more than just a couple of sneezes every now and then. I doubt that’s worse than what I’ve got back home.

As proof that I only have this problem back home, I’d like to state that I was in Australia for 1 whole month in May, and I was fine. No problems with the nose. Went home in June, and the next day I was already the ‘Runny Nose Lady’, all over again. Came back to Australia in July, and since then, my nose hasn’t acted up.. much.

Family and friends can testify to my life’s misery. Family doctor, too. Once, a doctor told me I wasn’t fit to live in Malaysia, should move to Antarctica -_- Big vote of confidence right there. 

Anyway… I don’t exactly have a point here. I’m merely stating one thing that I found has benefited me since I got here (not having to worry about my medications or Vicks or nasal sprays if I’m going out for the day anymore). Need to up that list because I’m missing home muchly..

Anyone with a similar problem?

Xx.

Smarter Than Your Brain!

So. There’s so much to gather of a person from her blog. What have you gotten so far about me? Girl. Crazy, sexy, beautiful. Aww.. Cute, sometimes. Intelligent, checked. Smart, checked. Full of herself, checked. Grin. But I have prove! I am not only “above average” on several Intelligent Quotient scales, I am, in fact, superbly awesome. I surprise myself sometimes. Lol. Anyway.. Psychology student and graduate. Your very own psychologist, if you may.
But anyway, here’s a little more in depth information about me and what I’d like to do more, or rather, specialize in the future.
I studied Psychology. And I dare say the first thing 9 out of 10 of you are thinking the exact thing right now.
“So, can you read my mind?”.
NO, I absolutely cannot read your mind. As a matter of fact, no one can. And if anyone tell you otherwise, then rest assured that they’re lying to scare you out of your wits. But, we are, capable of assessing behavior. Part of what we inevitably get into a habit of doing is to understand behavior and why people act the way they do. We, or at least most of peers and I are always trying to understand the way one talks, choice of words and tone, facial expressions and body language are the first few clues we get into understanding a person’s behavior and personality. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I look into your eyes every time we talk and try to read your whole life story. In a way, it is my way of justifying one’s behavior and actions. Of course, I do not speak for everyone who specializes under the umbrella of professional psychology.
But to justify the name of my blog, where the “smarter than your brain” is concern- here’s why. I am, for one, an enthusiast in learning and understanding the functions of the brain. So, I am literally interested in your brain. (someday I’m gonna find a way to squeeze it out of your northern-region orifices to scrupulously study your brain, muahaha! I’m kidding, of course). I am working towards understanding better and specializing in this area, especially in the near future.
Why, you ask?
Because the brain is the single most impressive organ, and the very fact that with the bazillions research and studies done on the brain, we have only discovered a small portion of its functioning. We still do not understand the brain as a whole, how it works, and most especially, from a psychological point of view, how we can improve our current understanding of the brain in order to assist those with learning/intellectual disabilities. Hopefully, in the near future we might even be able to prevent or minimize these existing disabilities..  Plus, it might even assist us in understanding things like, attention and memory span of those us in the ‘normal population’ which might be helpful for some of us, especially when we’re learning and studying for exams. Yep, I can totally relate to that..
So, yeap. This is me. And I can only thank my Biopsychology (Brain & Behavior) lecturer for exposing me to this part of psychology. I mean, he had to anyway, it was part of the course requirements, but if he hadn’t presented it interestingly, I would have tossed that knowledge out the window after my exam anyway. Toughest subject yet, and it was one of the best things I’ve learned throughout my 3 years in university. Thank you..

I miss studying. I miss being a student. And I absolutely miss opening a text book with many bright colours highlighting the different parts of the brain. Pinel, J., best textbook ever.

Imma regret missing the life of a student soon =p

Xx.

Like! me on Facebook thingamabob

I realised that everything on the internet is integrated these days i.e. google has everything for everyone (emails, blogging, search engines and the lovely Chrome), Windows Live is, as I discovered lately, integrating with FB. Did you know that if you update your windows live essentials to the 2011 version, you can chat with fb friends on your windows live messenger? Talk about making life easy for you. All that said, you get my point..


So, in attempts to traffic my blog to get more readers and channel better ads, the boyf suggested I create a FB fanpage. Don't know why it never occured to me before this *knocks own forehead with my right palm*. Well, I'm all set. So, if you'd just click on "LIKE" on my fan page, I'd really appreciate it. It's also my way of connecting to you, who visits my blog..


Toodles.


Xx.

10.10.10!

So, it’s one of those –once in a lifetime- moments again! How did you spend your 10/10/10? Do share your moments with me as I am super uber busy body =p

I.. went to the beach. Incidentally, today is also a very special day for they boyf and I, so we just decided to do something that we both liked. Relax!

I’m so psyched about blogging these days that I had to post this up asap. Felt totally retarded today, not being able to be online for just half a day. I’m currently waiting in the car for the boyf to settle some things..

We were at Mordialloc earlier today. The weather was too tempting to just stay indoors. So we took a drive to the beach, about 20 minutes away..

I absolutely loved it. The sun, sea, sand. The people, crown, energy. Exhilarating. Relaxing. Absolutely, awesome.

So, as promised. Photos.
 

  All excited!

Mordialloc Beach from my viewpoint..

   The Boyf

      My tatt from my point of view.

     The boyf being totally anal about sunscreen! Australia only has SPF 30, I’m surprised. Back home, we get up to SPF 150. But, I usually settle for SPF 50.

The boyf said he wanted to go for a swim. 30 seconds later, walked back, and said “brr, too cold”. Totally reminded me of Michelle Tanner on Full House S2.
 

  

What with more clouds than sunlight, we decided to walk down the shops for some lunch instead. Discovered Big Mouth Burger Co. He had a massive beefburger, I had chicken wraps. AWESOME. Highly recommended by yours truly, yo.

   

Cam-whoring moments. Althoug, I doubt it’s called cam-whoring IF I’m not the one holding the camera, snapping away photos of myself, right?

While we were sitting my the rocks near the jetty, chattin away watching the sun slowly set.. Something short of a drama was happening right in front of us. What with all the high school kids hanging out at the beach, we were bound to see some slow moving actions anyway =b Boy likes girl, girl likes boy, lets find some reason to.. =p
PS. Embossed the photos for their privacy’s sake, grin.

.

.

.

Hands touch.. Eyes meet. Used the boyf as an excuse to snap more photos of them..
As you can see, they’ve moved in closer, lol.

Finally. At this point, I was staring at them for at least 3 minutes already, not even counting the drama of the boy trying to pull the girl into the ice-cold water, girl struggles not to get wet, boy pulls harder, girl screams, boy tries to impress her, she acts like she doesn’t want to be there, but we all know she’s enjoying the attention from him, yah-dee-daa . . .

.

All this while, I was holding the camera ever-so-un-suspiciously,  saying to the boyf “oh, snogg already!”

.

.

.

And finally..

SNAP!

Boo ya! I am goood.

This is the boyf being embarrassed by what I’ve just done. As you might have been able to tell by this very cutee photo of him.
But still, he loves me =)

Mother Nature has rendered me speechless.
I am too much in awe of her beauty and grace.

Ever wondered..  if life as we know it looks like this?

 

Ahh, loves.

Xx.