I discovered a new distraction.
And I’ve been watching wedding clips. And I feel so happy for these people.
I’ve come to another point in life. My friends are getting married. Some already have kids. Others are planning for their weddings. Those aren’t engaged are thinking about the prospects of marriage with their partners. Those without partners are anxious because apparently, they are running out of time.
I am, as always, still my mama’s girl. I don’t want that to change anytime soon. And I refuse to be pressured by age and time.
I am happy with the Boyf and we are, as I would like to think, very ideal for each other. He completes me and makes me a better person every morning and every day. I cannot say I have anything to complain about, and I am not saying this to make him look or feel good. I just think that we are very good for each other. After more than 1.5 years, I still feel like I’m falling more in love with him each day, because he gives me reason to. And we are definitely not falling into any form of routine yet, which is great, in my opinion. Most important of all, we are not settling into a comfort zone. I’d take this as a very good sign because I’ve settled before, and I’ve fallen into the trap of being in a ‘comfortable’ relationship before, and I don’t like it. Complacent. Don’t get me wrong. Comfortable is good, when there’s still the prospect of making things exciting every now and then. But ‘comfortable’ is cruel when partners and lovers start taking things for granted with each other. And worse, taking things for granted. And it is from then on that things start to spiral downwards, and that is when loving him or her just isn’t enough anymore.
So, back to watching clips of peoples’ weddings. I’m loving it, the bride, the groom, the gown, the flowers and the people. Most importantly, the love. In fact, I think that I might have turned gaga at the prospect of having a wedding for that very sake. A wedding! Me, getting wed. Phew.
Unfortunately, the whole constitution of marriage just doesn’t attract me at all. As far as I view it, getting married is not a priority in my life. Plainly put, I do not think it is for me. The very definition of marriage has been changed by the prospect of legal separation and divorce. And the fact that you’re getting married while considering that divorce is an option out totally dissolves the very point of marriage, isn’t it? So, no. It is not that I do not trust the man I want to be with. But we all make mistakes, and hey, I have yet to meet enough married couples make it through thick and thin to make me believe that it is the right thing for me..
I suppose it’s got a lot to do with my culture and the way I have been brought up.. The generations before me did not make a good impression on me. I do not see ‘happily ever after’. Not that I expect it without a lot of sacrifices, hard work and commitments (which I am willing to do), but hey, I’ve seen more marriages dissolve into two-people-not-even-being-able-to-be-friends-but-still-sleep-in-the-same-room (resources do not include information on whether or not they still share the same bed, but you get my drift) than I can count with all my fingers and toes. And I am not blaming them for their mistakes and weaknesses, but I sure can thank these people for showing me how it might be being on my own two feet.. And it looks brighter than heading into the dark zone of being tied to a wrong partner. No offense to anyone in particular, but let’s just say you’ve scared me off because I don’t want to end up in a rut the way you did. All of you, in general.
As for now, I am happy with the way my relationship is working out with the Boyf. And we’ve talked about our future together, and marriage is still a long way, if it even come into our plans. For the next couple of years,we’re putting our education ahead of any plans that might change the equilibrium of this priority.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying no to the prospect of marriage in my life, not yet anyway. Neither am I opposing those who decided that this is what they want this early in life. I’m just merely stating my views on it and that for now, I’m happy not pursuing it.. A marriage is more than just a wedding. It is a commitment that lasts this entire lifetime.
I’m happy the way I am now. We are happy the way things are now. Very, happy.
And for all of you who are into these things,
I wish you love and happiness, that may yours be a marriage that inspires others.
Oh, but wouldn’t it be nice to be a bride.. Grin. I’ll settle for bridesmaid for now =p