Thursday, July 28, 2011

Emails? No. Spam!


I haven't been here for a while.
All the same, I have not checked my Hotmail since either.
(About a year ago, the boyf convinced me to switch over to Gmail, and amazingly, junk emails never appear in my inbox. I've been converted. To get in touch, I am still using the same username) 

I find myself deleting over 15 pages of Junk Mail. Then I turn to my inbox and carefully select all the spam mails from acquaintances. Sadly, these were the people whom I used to share fun emails with back in my school and college days. Now, I see their names pop up every now and then in my email inbox, sending me junk email. In their defense, I am sure their emails got hacked and they did not intentionally send me emails for the best drugs, etc.. Grin. At least the positive side of me would like to think so.

It is just funny how I spend more time deleting emails than reading them these days.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

1, 2, 3.

Being home, I realized that ...

  1. I love driving in Malaysia because I don't have to stare at the speedometer all the time! Literally.
  2. I still don't like driving in general.
  3. I don't miss the morning prayers- especially if I woken up too early in the morning (which is inevitable, seeing that my body is working 3 hours ahead in time).
  4. I like the idea of food being readily available whenever and however I like it.
  5. Love the attention I'm getting from all of my friends!
  6. Food, is the essence of my life. 
  7. My family and the boyf comes in next in line. Grin.
  8. I am happy being different, and have always strife to be different even as a child, and will continue to do the same for the rest of my life.
  9. I don't miss the heat & humidity BUT I like how I don't have to moisturize every hour of the day!
  10. I was too naive to have thought that 3 weeks was enough.
On another token, I am reminded that ...
  1. I truly love the sister.
  2. I am loved by her.
  3. I am also loved by our self-proclaimed brother, Mr. CWC.
  4. There is no place like home.
  5. I am loved.

Friday, January 21, 2011

There is no place like home.

I am HOME.

To all of you Malaysians who are still abroad, here's my time to shine!
Nasi lemak, assam laksa, yummy chinese seafood, nyonya cuisine, HERE I COME.
You got your chance to make me envious while I was away, so here's me shoving it back to your faces. Grin.

Back for a couple of weeks to spend some time with the family, celebrate the sister's birthday and CNY, and just to catch up with friends and relatives.  I can't wait to start shopping in proper better malls, and to spend in Ringgit. Lol.

So, if you're reading this, call me!


P.S. Still using the same Maxis number.
P.P.S Missing the boyf already  =( Damnit.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


I have been abroad for so many months, and I've learned so much.

The one thing I have learned to appreciate is, individuality. It's not easy adapting, being brought up in a collectivistic society and I am not saying I'm a complete 'my life is my own'. As I've said before, I'm not too embarrassed to admit that I am somewhat unhealthily attached to my loved ones. But, being in Australia has taught me one thing. To pursue whatever I want in life without reservations- just because I'm entitled to do what ever the hell I want. Even if it'll screw my life upside down.

What affects me most, and it is something I am trying to overcome is that, it is the ones closest to me who do not bother to support my decisions and actions. I am not hurt and I am not upset, I am rather disappointed at those who doesn't even bother to TRY and accept me for who I am. Family, I accept. But friends, those who grew up with you side-by-side and decides to abandon you at their own conveniences just because they have moved on or you're not good enough for them anymore. How, fake. I've always genuinely loved my friends, and you know who you are. But it is most disappointing when you do not support my decisions in life. Is it envy? Or superiority? Is it because I've decided to take a "road less taken?". It's bloody cheesy, but it is so damned true. Have you out-casted me because of distance or because I am not doing what you're doing anymore?

Tell me, what is the cause of your indifference?

When was the last time you even checked out my blog?
Not a single one bother to leave a comment, even if it is to insult the hell out of me. 

How did we end up here?

How do we go back to when there was no envy, just genuine laughter, happiness, love and joy?


In and Out

I feel hemmed in.

Why is it that people ask questions with expectations to hear what they want to hear?
-You're not always going to get the answer that you want.

Fact is, everybody is different. And each individual is responsible for his or her own life, ergo, they are free to make their own choices. Even if he plans to screw his own life to hell. It is NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS.

Now, that is individuality.

What does that mean? 
-Plainly, that not everyone is going to agree with you and you shouldn't expect everyone to agree with you. 

And if you think that I am screwing my life apart, then tyvm for your concern but I think I am mature enough to decide on what I want to do with my life. I'll be more than happy to hear your opinions and I'm open to learn from your mistakes, BUT, you have no right to judge me. More so, you have no right to judge my parents for their parenting. Because, despite your gracious life now, you made mistakes too. 

I believe that I'm blessed for what I have today and the people I have with me. 

My point is, if I have to be completely honest and with all due respect I do not have the answers that you'd like to hear. So, either you be open to hear me out or don't bother asking me questions. Just smile and we'll pretend we've gotten past that stage. 

Thank you.


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Psych Hub

I have mentioned this before, I need a project.

And I have finally decided on one.

An informative blog. I've been tortured so badly as a university student, that after I left, the torment left me with scars and the need to continue working and thinking like a student - to research and write.

Right now, I don't see myself giving up on this blog, in fact I'd like to write more.
It is an avenue for me to voice out things as a matter of opinion or just about life in general.

However, I came across a website that allows me to create hubs on specific topics, and I'd like to try that out.

I have already started posting on it, so do check it out
It is of course, a Psychology based hub.

Haven't you realize? Psychology is just about everywhere these days!

I am still developing it, and pretty much just trying out the website.

In the meantime, be patient with me.




I'm really new at this. Like, really.

So, out of genuine curiosity, 
What would you like to read every time you check into this blog?

I'm just not 'busy' enough to actually develop scandals in my life.

I suppose I could do that, but I have never really even been that much of a busybody myself. Frankly, that is one of the reasons why I did not enroll myself into a Counseling Psychology course. I'm just not really that interested in other peoples' lives. At least not the intimate and private issues. If you need to keep it to yourself, by all means, feel free to omit.

Fair enough, I can definitely do that. But, I'd like to think that I'm more creative than technical. So, if you're like to me review or give my personal technical feedback on gadgets and stuff, I suppose I could.. Learn. In my defense though, I like to believe that I'm more technical than most of those who share my gender. Grin. If you think otherwise, just keep it to yourself. This is one of those things where I'd like to be ignorant.

My personal life?
Now, there's only so much I can talk about myself. I wouldn't want to take over Napolean's title, after all. But in all seriousness, I have always been very open about my opinions, no reservations whatsoever. And you'd know about it if you know me. As for my very own life, I'm as open as I am until I'm not.

Are you one of those who just scrolls through every blog saved in your list and won't read blog posts unless there are photo updates like tabloids? Lol. I do that sometimes. No big.

Photo updates are interesting and my snapshots will be up soon. Grin.

I have an excuse a very valid reason though. My photos are uploaded to the external hard drive, that doesn't seem to work on Macs. And since the Macs are the only computer that are at this point 'usable' in my opinion, I have no idea how to upload photos. All will be well soon. Talk about not being able to review technology. Grin.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011


I just watched a movie that inspired me to live this life. For the moment.


Mainly, it highlights the idea of being free- a travel journalist who has to settle to help her father by being an editor for one of his many magazines. In my humble opinion, it managed to zoom into the view of a person who sets her own rules and all the dramas she had to go through in order to do 'what is expected of her'.

As the movie develops, I feel like it is speaking to me because it is so much like my life right now.
In fact, at some point a character actually said to her,
"Your grammar sucks, but you're creative. Figure it out!',
of which the boyf immediately turned to me and said,

"Hey baby, that's you!". -_-

I was raised to plan for a stable life. Something that guarantees you a 'comfortable' life. I don't plan to defy that, but in the meantime I'd like to deviate a little bit to do something else.

And I really want to do this. Write.
I just need the right equipments - inspiration and tools that actually work.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011


It has been such a long time since I felt like blogging. Mainly because, I don't know what to talk about.
For one, I'd like to think that my life is going the way I planned. But it's not.
Secondly, I know that when I want something, I want it now, and there's no negotiation. And the thing about wanting to pursue dreams is that, we need patience. 
Another thing I lack.

I have wanted to be a clinical psychologist ever since I first tried it out as a lowly intern. And I believe I have what it takes to be one. I suppose the university professors think otherwise because I've been rejected from almost every university I've applied to. You have no idea how demotivated I feel right now, because I am not used to being rejected or thought unworthy of something. If I want something, I always made sure I'm good enough to get it. Clearly not.

It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was not educated in Australia, per se. That my degree was from a local, albeit private Malaysian university is unfortunately, not at par with the Australian standards. But what about the accreditation from the Australian Psychological Society? Isn't that good enough for you?.. Or that I do hold a scroll from Lancaster University, as well? 

I do not regret pursuing a 'local' degree (from a Malaysian perspective), because I have experienced a life changing course, learned the skills needed to survive in this big, bad world, and have, made friends with not only my peers but with my educators. I believe that I would not be the way I am today, thinking and making judgments as I do, speaking as you see me do if it wasn't for what I have obtained if not by the piece of scrolled-up paper we call a degree, then by the teachings and exposure I was fortunate enough to experience.
In some ways or another, I believe that there are a series of events in the past that could only lead up to where I am standing right now, or rather, sitting, if you must (I don't really make it a habit to type standing). But I'd hate to admit that there is nothing I can do right now to change my circumstances.

I do not believe that only educational institutions dictate who is good enough and who isn't, for the very fact that these decisions of who is in and who is out were not made fairly. How is it decided who would be good enough to make your faculty proud? By assessing solely based on our exam results or rather, academic ratings? How is that fair when the educational system is so different,  thereby requiring students to study in different manners, depending on which part of the world you're in. In that case, I think it is fair to bring to mind that one person would definitely be better than others one way than the other. Some believe in MCQ's while the other institution does not even have a single MCQ, forcing the students to memorize all their textbooks and journals to regurgitate everything out again as whole essays. In the end, who is the judge that my A's are better than your A's? To which system owns this superiority?

All I am saying is, give the individual a chance to prove himself or herself worthy of what they want because everything is subjective. Why succumb to the vicious cycle of rigidness in a system that would only be the end of us. 

Why all this rigidity?


Monday, January 3, 2011


Every turn of a new year, most of us would be cracking our brains and scratching our heads to figure out a long list of resolutions- some sort of a change within and about ourselves that we’d like to make for the new year. We all grow up and we all mature as the months pass us by and then we say we’d like to make a change. If you are anything like me then, by the end of January I’d forget everything I have decided to do for the year.

This year, however, I am determined to do something different.

Instead of making a change of myself, I’d like to make a change for others.

In 2010, I started on a project I’d like to continue on in my life, but as my current situation doesn’t allow me to do so, I’m going to start on something “closer to home”, in a manner of speaking. I’d like to light the fire in old friendships, keep in touch with those I’ve lost touch with over the years (I’m hardly proud to admit this because of all the technological ways I could have kept in touch with said persons), and just to keep the conversation going among friends.

And I’m going to start with Facebook.

So, ready or not, old friends, here I come knocking on the door of your FB inbox.


P.s. I’d also like to make new ones (in the old-fashioned manner – and I mean in a f2f kind of way).