It has been such a long time since I felt like blogging. Mainly because, I don't know what to talk about.
For one, I'd like to think that my life is going the way I planned. But it's not.
Secondly, I know that when I want something, I want it now, and there's no negotiation. And the thing about wanting to pursue dreams is that, we need patience.
Another thing I lack.
I have wanted to be a clinical psychologist ever since I first tried it out as a lowly intern. And I believe I have what it takes to be one. I suppose the university professors think otherwise because I've been rejected from almost every university I've applied to. You have no idea how demotivated I feel right now, because I am not used to being rejected or thought unworthy of something. If I want something, I always made sure I'm good enough to get it. Clearly not.
It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was not educated in Australia, per se. That my degree was from a local, albeit private Malaysian university is unfortunately, not at par with the Australian standards. But what about the accreditation from the Australian Psychological Society? Isn't that good enough for you?.. Or that I do hold a scroll from Lancaster University, as well?
I do not regret pursuing a 'local' degree (from a Malaysian perspective), because I have experienced a life changing course, learned the skills needed to survive in this big, bad world, and have, made friends with not only my peers but with my educators. I believe that I would not be the way I am today, thinking and making judgments as I do, speaking as you see me do if it wasn't for what I have obtained if not by the piece of scrolled-up paper we call a degree, then by the teachings and exposure I was fortunate enough to experience.
In some ways or another, I believe that there are a series of events in the past that could only lead up to where I am standing right now, or rather, sitting, if you must (I don't really make it a habit to type standing). But I'd hate to admit that there is nothing I can do right now to change my circumstances.
I do not believe that only educational institutions dictate who is good enough and who isn't, for the very fact that these decisions of who is in and who is out were not made fairly. How is it decided who would be good enough to make your faculty proud? By assessing solely based on our exam results or rather, academic ratings? How is that fair when the educational system is so different, thereby requiring students to study in different manners, depending on which part of the world you're in. In that case, I think it is fair to bring to mind that one person would definitely be better than others one way than the other. Some believe in MCQ's while the other institution does not even have a single MCQ, forcing the students to memorize all their textbooks and journals to regurgitate everything out again as whole essays. In the end, who is the judge that my A's are better than your A's? To which system owns this superiority?
All I am saying is, give the individual a chance to prove himself or herself worthy of what they want because everything is subjective. Why succumb to the vicious cycle of rigidness in a system that would only be the end of us.
Why all this rigidity?