Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Eve !!

It's New Year's Eve ! Woohoo!!

Have you all written out all your resolutions for the new year in a list?
Mine's gonna be a LOOONG one!

Had a talk with the Momsie yesterday, and it felt like she just gave me the green light to grow up and fight for my dreams. Time to put all unnecessary thoughts and worries away. Time to leave the past behind.

To be honest, I had a good year, nothing great, no where close to fantastic.
Many things have happened, the good and bad ones too.. But mostly bad.
Hence, I'd like to say that it was a lousy year for me, but I'm way to grateful that I'm not sleeping on the streets to complain about how bad my year went.

So, just before today I've been packing up all my old things and throwing the ones I don't want out and giving those that I don't need away. Clothes, toys, decorations, etc.. I'm not a big fan of hoarding. At least I try anyway..

Meanwhile, I've also been making plans for a better year ahead. But I can't say it out loud yet. I may jinx it.

They always say that your life will turn out the way you make it (Western). Maybe I'll just sit here and wait for the opportunity to come (Eastern). But how does it happen when opportunities doesn't come your way?.. I have all this big plans for my future, fulfill my dreams, how I'd like to be able to help the helpless.. It's not really my call right now because well, I'm pretty much stuck at this very position until the opportunity arises. I'm sick and tired of waiting.

(You see my conflict here !!? I've always been having these messed up thoughts- Eastern culture + Western influence- and now that I'm seeing a completely and utterly ridiculous Western man by name, whom by blood is still an Eastern, btw, I'm being influenced to go against everything my culture can accept and fighting for my dreams the unconventional way!)


So, come 2010, I'm making my own plans. No more planning around the unpredictable future. I'm MAKING it happen. And if it doesn't work out, I have nothing to regret because it's way better than sitting down here waiting for it to happen. I'm sure I'll have more to regret if I don't MAKE this opportunity for myself.

No more waiting.

It's gonna be a good year. I can feel it. I'll make it a good one.

Have a great day peeps, after all, it is the last day of the year !

Goodbye 2009 !!


Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Christmas !

So what if I've lived in Malaysia all my life.

I refuse to succumb to the lack of Christmas spirit in this God forsaken land =(

There's nothing planned for this Christmas. There's not even a tradition. No music. Nothing red or green. No blings on the tree. Almost no presents for me under our tree.

Apart from the fact that I'm still mourning (because the boyf just left for home after staying for almost 3 weeks although he promised to come back in a month "and a bit"), I'm also feeling very dejected because no one's accepting me into Australia at the moment. So, I'd expect this Christmas to be filled with laughter and joy from the family, whom I love very much but are way to busy with other things in their heads. Seems to me like I'm the only one bothered that nothing's line up this Christmas. Fark. And I can't exactly make plans with anyone other than family because we're suppose to have "family time". For I might leave next year. MIGHT. Fark.

And the boyf's living in a place with so much spirits (prolly cause his sister is still 8), and he's not appreciating it. Family, presents, wine and fruit cakes with rum. I need that.

Talk about being born in the wrong part of the world.


Apart from that, I'm alright.

Happy Christmas all!


P.S. to the boyf : I want a WHITE Christmas next year boo! If that's even possibly down under. Maybe with all this global warming..

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Canine Lover Fell in Love with a Feline

I have always been, still am & will always be a dog lover. They are just so adorable. And let's not forget that they are smart wonderful creatures, well, a good number of them anyway. Yeah, I'm biased. But, not in a way that screams "Cats, stay away or you'll be burned !!".

So when I came across this early this morning, I fell in love.

Enjoy people!


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Welcoming December

It's a known fact, a common knowledge that December is the best month of the year. Well, at least it is SUPPOSE to be. As a student, we all know that it's that time of the year- School holidays! Awesome vacations! Perfect getaways! And don't you even dare forget about Christmas Presents!

As a student, the person that I was every year for the past 22 years, it was amazing! No classes to rush for, no assignments to hand up, no deadlines what-so-ever, not even Student Council or Editorial Board could get in the way of my beauty sleep or those rare precious moments where I can do whatever I'd like and there was no one who could say NO to that. Let's not even dare forget those late-nights out with the friends, gossip moments with the girlfriends, & of course, the holiday get aways that evolved from going with the family to going with the friends. Well, to be quite honest, I enjoy both as much, in very different ways.

This year, something very different is happening to me. I'm working now, as are most of my friends. Time is a factor now as we have lost almost all flexibility to move about as and when we like. Plans have to be made weeks ahead of time, if not, months. But everyone still looks forward to that very vacation. Bugger. One I wouldn't be able to make this year. Leaves are scarce & I have too many commitments =( I have to invigilate exams, plan the students' graduation, piano exam, edit a research, propose another research, and the list goes on.. It's actually quite depressing. Of course, the one thing I can rely on is the fact that "The Perfect Holiday" is coming to me this year. Yes. Him.

That aside, I have little to look forward to this December.

For once, maybe more than a little perfect Christmas with wine and fruit cake (with Rum). Wonderful treats.
And a special present.

Dear God, let it be known that I only have ONE Christmas wish Proper this year.

That very letter.


Monday, November 30, 2009

AnoTHEr Wonder of Technology.

Being a person with a normal job now, mostly @ the desk when I'm not teaching, I find myself with less and less time for myself and my loved ones. Also, since the Sister is back, I cannot exactly fit all the "I want to do"s and "Need to do"s plus the "Would like to do"s without feeling a little dead by midday. So. I figured that I've got to do everything during my working hours, which are pretty much relaxed because my only obligation preparing for lectures. Of course, the 'overly-efficient' part of me took over when I first started out with this job, so I'm pretty much done with all that I needed to do with regards to preparing for lectures. Also, there's only 2 weeks (+1 week) left before the exams begin, so I am pretty much free. The only thing that is not flexible is that I have to stay put on my desk even without much work to do. Anyway, all I've had these weeks were my trusty lap top & phone which I have been putting to good use.

And recently, I have discovered... Wait for it...


Oh, the wonders of it.

I barely have the time to do anything lately, let alone shopping. And let's face it, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am NOT a morning person and waking me up anytime before the clock strikes 9 in the a.m. makes me tired and fatigued all day long (On a totally unrelated note, I just found out that chronic sinusitis causes fatigue as well, SO THAT COULD BE THE REASON FOR MY LACK-OF-ENTHUSIASM for anything at all, most of the time. Also, I've stopped my regular vigorous exercising since I went to Melb and have not recovered from chronic laziness ever since. Apart from fatigue, my weight has also been a problem but that is besides that point).

Anyway, now that I've discovered online shopping, I'm totally in love with the idea. Of course, I'd very much prefer to do my shopping the conventional way because it's just cooler that way BUT I don't have the friggin' time or energy given that time is a factor and you can only do so much in ONE day. So. I've resorted to the unthinkable. Buying without being able to check my merchandises twice =( But it sure as hell beats not buying anything at all. I'm a girl. I have NEEDS. Among them (and pretty much on top of the list) is that I love to buy new things. Because it means I get to use new things too.

Change, after all my good people, is the Spice of Life !!

It is also a form of therapy, I tell you. Anti-Stress! Anti-Boredom! Anti-Anxiety! As a self-proclaimed not-yet-fully-registered psychologist, I highly recommend it. Might also work as an Anti-Depressant if I get things to work my way.

Unfortunately for me, most of these "boutiques" do not ship their merchandises to Malaysia.
I'm talking about Forever 21, Victoria's Secret, Charles & Keith, etc..

So, imma get them sent to the boyf & he doesn't know it yet but he'll just have to pass them to me!!


Sunday, November 29, 2009

Blogging, a Lifestyle.

Me: I think my blog's kinda dead.

Sis: Yes. It kinda is.

So, I decided that I'd do something about it.

See, blogging is not just an avenue to bitch about one's life or in fact, many peoples' lives. It's also not a place just to put pretty pictures of oneself, photoshop-ed of course. It is in truth, a lifestyle.

I'm not the type who'd go on and on about my daily life, on what I've been doing or what I've been saying. Also, as much as I love taking pictures (being on both sides of the camera is fine by me), I highly doubt I'd parade it here for the world to see and judge. That's why they created Facebook.

But I love reading blogs by people from around the world, and I find that these daily life routine thingamajig seem to be the most popular ones. You know, the ones with photoshop-ed near-to-perfect photos. Those picture-perfect shots with their better halves. I'm especially amazed by how it is really the girls who are reading about the other girl's life. Or, woman, if you must. Could it be that the rest of the world really do give a damn about what one was doing the past day and how she felt about it? I'm really under the impression that the fatal attraction is caused by the gossips. Please, don't bother justifying. I am in every way as guilty.

As for me, I'm still deliberating. Am I up for this lifestyle? I still don't know..

Wouldn't it be more fun if you got to know me the conventional way?


Friday, September 25, 2009

Transparency of the WWW

It is amazing how technology is doing wonders in our lives. Whether it’s for work, school or play, more than half of the population in developed nations cannot live with the Internet. Or 3G. Or as it is probably now known as 3.5G? Lol.

Anyway, my point is, almost everyone is addicted to the internet. Emails and text messages from loved ones that we cannot go without, updates of your friends on Twitter and Facebook, not to mention the “kay pohs” who cannot live a day without prying into their friends’ photos on Facebook, Flickr and the such. Yours truly included, of course.

My point is, that it’s scary how transparent our lives are become because of this. You do one thing, and BAAAM!, the world knows about it the next day. In fact, you don’t even have to update your own statuses and the next thing you know, friends are asking if “this” or “that” really happened. And you’d go like... “How’d you know about it?” because you did not publicise it at all. And they’d go, “Yeah, I saw it on FB”. Wtf!?

Talk about invasion of privacy.

There are aspects of my life that I am very open about. Yes. But only to those whom I trust with my life. I don’t expect the world to know my every gritty details, heck, I don’t want them to know. There are things that I’d like to keep private. Things that are personal to me. Yeah, so you’d think that me having a blog kind of contradicts that. BUT, I get to choose what I want you to know. I make that decision. I still have that power. But when someone else talks about me on spaces they shouldn’t be doing, that is not fair. Because I’d never do that to you.

Talk about pride and dignity. What about job opportunities and stigmatization. Just because I did something out of my lack of judgement once does not mean that I did not learn from it. Does not mean that I did not grow up.

Because it so many ways, we are not the people we were yesterday. I’m giving you that benefit of doubt. It’s fair that I demand the same.

Placing something on the internet may mean that you are throwing one’s life away, even if you don’t realise it. Information, false or otherwise true will affect one’s reputation. Therefore I ask you, who are you to do that to a person? Is it your place to judge?..

So, before you make comments or judgements that could affect a person’s reputation, think twice. And when you come to a conclusion that contradicts your conscience and better judgement, think a third time.

Not everyone will have that one chance to make things right again.


Friday, September 18, 2009

Media: Friend or Foe?

I haven’t been very interpersonal in my blog. So I decided that instead of the usual carefully thought out topics that I always write, I’d do something more of my life right now. Just for humour’s sake.

So I’m sitting here in my office with nothing much to do. One. Because I have just finished what I was planning to finish for this week. Two. Because I don’t want to begin something and not be able to finish it. Three. I hate letting work hang over the weekend. So, I’m just sitting at my table, hugging my pillow and watching comedies on youtube.

Some of the things that I always, and I do mean ALWAYS watch are “The Nanny” and “Mind your language”. It never gets too old for me. I can watch it over again the next day and still laugh at the same jokes, I cannot imagine being bored with them ever. When in doubt, always search for these TV shows. And it makes me think about how TV shows like these are not popular anymore. No, not the comedy part. The part where there’s still social morals in it. Relatively, at least.

My point is, notice how TV shows that sell are those that are dramatic and scandalous. Grin. Once again, I’m not judging. If you know me, I’m also as guilty for watching TV shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Gossip Girl. But, it only shows how our moral standards are influenced by the media. You don’t see rates of scandals, abortion and suicide as high as they are today in the 80’s or the 90’s, do you? I’m not saying that I’m holier than thou because I’m not exactly doing much to decrease these rates anyway. Whilst I do not condone these behaviours, I’m not entirely against them either. I believe in the school of thought of “it’s really none of my business”, therefore, it’s not my place to judge or condemn you either. Not very Christian, I know. But it’s your choice to do whatever you want to do anyway. If I was living in the dark ages, I definitely would not be the one who will hang you or put you at the stakes. I have strong opinions but just because I disagree with you does not mean that I will disown our relationship, whether family or friend.

Anyway, I tried my best to talk about my day. Worked well the first paragraph then I don’t know what happen. Guess I just cannot help myself. Grin. For humour’s sake.

Well, I’ve been invited to join the photography club. Seems like a good idea, thus, I may pop by their photography session for a bit.


Thursday, September 17, 2009

What were U thinking?

It’s been a while since I last wrote, not so much because I stopped thinking. I may have gotten stuck with the writing due to a very long and absolutely divine vacation. Needless to say, much has happened since then and I had to read everyone else’s blogs to motivate me to continue on my writings. I have all these inspirations, just no motivation.

I’ve been thinking a lot about growing up and taking control over my life. Sometimes, being given the autonomy to make one’s own decisions may not be the best achievement in life, but really, it’s gaining the ownership to hold responsibility for one’s own decisions and actions. Something enjoyable at most times, I must say but absolutely too much sometimes. I hardly think myself of mature at all, let alone an adult. But when the situation calls for it, fortunately, I am able to take control of it..

.. Eventually.

But that is just me. What about the many others who were not as fortunate as I was, not given the chance to make responsible decisions?.. I’ve been catching up on news, not just in Malaysia but also in Australia (because I was there for 2 months, what crap excuse) and I am taken aback by the ridiculous increase of crime rates. Sometimes I’d like to tell myself that the crime rates are the same, there are just more people reporting it through the media or various ways over the internet, that’s all. But still, it shocks me that people are making rash decisions, not so much burglary or robbery or the such (although they are as unscrupulous as any other crime) but really, what were these people thinking before kidnapping, raping and murdering people?.. What was seriously on their minds? I can’t help but wonder. Did they know that they’d get into trouble, and be sentenced to life-long imprisonment or worse, capital punishment? Or were they just hoping that they wouldn’t get caught? I was reading the Australian news 2 days ago via the internet and a man was convicted for rape and murder over 20 years ago. And when they were trying to inject the lethal drug into him, they just couldn’t find his veins. For over an hour, apparently. He even tried to help. While crying. Weeping. So, back he goes into his cell (which he has been calling home for the past 20 years) while waiting for his “time” to come. AGAIN.

So, here goes. I concluded that he did regret his actions but, if you already know this could have been the possible consequence, why do it in the first place? I am in no position to judge the rest of us civilians. I am no saint, myself. But the point is not about doing something wrong on a miniscule level, but doing something that is judged unacceptable by society at large and that causes harm to other people.

On a whole other level, I’d like to know what most people think about capital punishment. It is, in my opinion, a very interesting debate. One that has yet to bore me, at least.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Necessary Evil

I have been having some time to think things over lately.
Well, I've always had the time,
but really, I've been putting more time into thinking about life as itself lately.

One of the things that really disturbs me is how people grow further apart.
For various reasons, of course.
These reasons, (to be really crude or just plain honest about it) are really excuses.
Distances, time differences, etc..
Hey, with technology these days, there are really so many ways to to keep in touch and still maintain that strong relationship with a friend or even family members.

Then again, everyone is guilty of this someway or another.
Yours truly included.

But my point is really about how people change overtime.
I suppose it boils down to priorities.
What matters in one's life may not really change,
but the urgency of that matter may have been altered and somehow,
this would affect one's relationship with the people around them.

I should know.
I've done it before.
Been there, done that!
Fortunately for me, my bestfriend pulled me back into the circle before it got too out of hand.
It's really not that big a deal, except that what seems to matter then was not as important as I thought it was.
I know that I'm losing sense, but bear with me.
I really do have a point.

Have you ever felt as if you're losing interest in things that used to be so important?
Sure you have.
Why? Because priorities change.

And when you do lose interest in certain pursues, do you feel as if you're giving up (to a certain extent) a part of this relationship you had with the people who share these interests?
I believe so.
Why? Because you're growing apart.
Your common ground has been tempered with.

So after a while, these people just don't bother to call anymore.
Which is fine.
But still, it does sting when the reality that you no longer have much in common with the people you once cared for or loved hits you.

Yeah, so it happens to everyone.
But it's a shame when you lose a good friend in the process of growing up.
I should know how that feels.
I do.

Another personal experience would be that as time passes by,
I feel much more like the person that people expected me to be.
The people who really matters and truly cared for me.
Surely, I know that now.
But at that time, these expectations seemed so ridiculous.
But I've had time to taste all that I needed to taste in order to be the person that I am today.
So, there.
Then necessary evil.

Time is a factor.
But time also became a hindrance because,
this experience of tasting life in order to grow and mature came too late.
And because of that,
I've lost one or two who really mattered to me.
Literally lost them in the midst of my growing up.
In fact, I should be so brave to say that they still matter to me.

So, in a way I feel as if time has played a joke on me.
I have lost those who truly matters in pursue of this temporary need to satisfy my hunger,
necessary of course, because it made me who I am today.
As this hunger has been fed, I no longer feel the need to feed on these pursues.
This would result in me being the person I am Now. Today. This moment. Period.
And the Mystery of Life lives up to its name again because at this very moment,
I am the person who I should have been before I lost these people.

At the end of the day, I have made a circle.
Went round and came back the person that I was suppose to be in the past.
But it came too late.

It's miserable.
But I'm working on making my peace with that mystery.

the Necessary Evil strikes.
Be careful people;
be watchful of the person you are turning out to be.


Thursday, June 18, 2009

It's time to get over the Banana phase.

I am a Banana, so say the rest of my Chinese comrades.

No, they aren't really referring to the fruit, per say.
It's just an analogy.
A bad one, one might add.

I'm a Chinese.
But, I cannot speak Chinese properly to save my life.
Mandarin, to be exact.
Really, the pronunciation is tougher than it sounds!
And no matter how hard try, I still say it out of tune.

But my point is, should it matter how I say it as long as the person I'm speaking to understands what it is that I am trying to tell him or her?
Why the fuss?
I am trying the best that I can, it's just not possible for me to pronounce the word accurately.
But more than that, I think pride comes into place.
The dignity of being able to speak properly.

So, back to the banana.
The colour of my skin is "yellow", so to speak.
Yet, I'm "white" inside because I cannot speak (or sometimes even understand) Chinese.
Hence, the analogy.

In my defense, I would like to state that I am not the only one of my kind.
As much as I like to stand out and be different,
this is the one time that I'm happy to be "one of them" (bananas!).

But I would have you all know, that I am trying my best.
As some of you already know, I have been trying to improve the language.
For months now.
Last year, we (my lecturers, supervisors, and juniors) formed a small group.
And we were not allowed to speak English with one another,
when it comes to informal businesses, of course.
It was totally fun!
And now that I have finally learned the trick to this Pinyin function on my phone,
I'm totally addicted to sending nonsense text messages to those who are Chinese literate.
If I have said anything offensive, I'm sorry people!

I'll have you all know that I recently sent a text to a friend calling him a "sex maniac".
Apparently. Grin.
I really meant to ask "What are you doing?".
I suppose the both of us ended up having a good laugh over that.

But in my personal opinion,
for a person whose mother tongue is English,
it is not an easy task trying to speak Chinese fluently.
Even with my strong Hokkien and pretty okay Cantonese background;
It ain't easy!

In retrospect, I'd have to be more lenient towards those who do not have a strong,
or even a mediocre command of the English language.
Of course, I'm referring to those who were from Chinese Ed backgrounds.
I have always thought that it is a shame when one can't understand or speak the language.
How will they communicate with the rest of the world?
Honestly, it is an embarrassment when I hear others speaking in broken language,
especially to those who are visiting our country.
Wouldn't you think that this communication barrier is giving a bad impression of us as Malaysians?
Understandably, there are people who do not realize that most of us can speak proper English.
Ignorance, I say.
But still.
Why should we give a bad impression to those who are already here?

I've met people who'd compliment me on my ability to speak English after knowing that I'm from Malaysia.
I was like "Whhaat?"
Malaysians can speak English too!
And some of them are damn good at it!

Therefore, I stand firm in my opinion that these people should at least try to improve on their English
as it IS the International Language of the world we live in!
Think about it on a global scale.
I do agree that Mandarin is one of the most widely spoken language.
But I don't suppose all of those who are weak in English speak good Mandarin.
No. I suppose not.
In that case, it is about time that those who speak in dialects try to improve on their English.
After all, I am making an effort to learn Chinese.

Am getting a little help lately too!


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Where does the time Go?


My friend opened a cafe!

I never once thought I'd have anyone who'd invest in a business at such an early stage in life.
Guess I must have been spoiled my whole life (Thanks mom and dad, if either one of you is reading this!),
that the idea of investing into something would sound preposterous, let alone the very act of it.

It's funny how time passes you by and before you realise it, you're an adult.
The old days in school are long gone, even though it feels like as if you left school yesterday.

I met my lecturer when I was back in my Pre-U days in Taylor's College
(now called Taylor's University College, mind you!).
When I went up to her, she couldn't even remember me;
(At this point, I have only left 3.5 years ago!).
Anyway, all is good, can't really blame her, she's got gazillions of students each year.
Funnily though, she remembered my class rep (good for you, Oliver!).
But my point is,
where does the time go?

Has it all been wasted on nothingness?
Have I really done any good to anyone at all?
Let's not even go to the point of society at large.

I mean, there has really got to be a reason for us all to be here.
I believe so.
At some point or another, I think that we are all meant to do some good here on earth.
But the question is, when do we start doing good?
And how do we contribute to our respective societies (and for those who can do so eventually, to the whole world)?
There comes to a point in life where I believe you've got to leave a mark.
At least before you leave this earth, and move on to a (hopefully) better place called Heaven.

I suppose we all have our flaws.
And we've got our entire youth to correct them, if not to remove our flaws.
All the partying and good times, I believe are essential for us to grow up.
But at which point does it stop?
And when should one start reflecting that his life should not just be on his own terms per say,
but that he or she should start working together with society to make our world a better place?

When, may I ask is the perfect time to really sit down and think about where we'd really like our lives to be?
Where do we head from here?
How do we decide that it is time to take a turn?
When do we grow up?
Where is the Crossroad?!!

I certainly would not want it to be on my deathbed.

So, here is where I take a break.
My life as a child will never end.
My youth with all the never-ending partying and crazy times, will never leave me.
I am still not willing to give that up.
But I'd like to take break.
Make that sacrifice and grow up.
Reflect on my life.
And make the necessary changes in my life.
So that I can make a difference in someone else's life.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Out of sight, out of mind.

Does that phrase really have a literally meaning linked to it?
I seriously doubt so.
Even if it is so, I believe that it's only momentary that a certain something can leave your mind, when it is out of your sight. A brief time.
This perhaps is especially true for things that truly mean something to us.

Could it be possible that the person who created this phrase really meant that we'll only forget after many moments have passed; months, years, centuries.

I suppose that I am not making sense at the moment.
But in my opinion, that phrase does not mean anything at all because there are many things that I do
remember or think about even when it is not in front of me.

Maybe it is just me. I may think more than others. Hence, I may have these things in my mind for longer periods of time.
But at the same time, is it possible to think that just because someone or something is not in front of you, you would not think of them? What about the brief moments where something just triggers your memory of them? Then, in that sense, this phrase would mean nothing at all.

In that case, then perhaps these "moments" where you don't think about these people or things, it could be justified by the fact that you're distracted by other things, more important or perhaps, much more urgent at that moment.

Then again, I can't say that I remember everyone and everything all the time. True. I am only human. But most things and people that make a lasting impression in my life would definitely appear to me in brief moments every day of my life. When it isn't a conscious act, know that you are in my mind unconsciously, even if it's just in my dreams.

I suppose that it does give a sort of feeling of disappointment or some other hurtful feelings when people know that they aren't remembered. I can't say the same for things because for obvious reasons, they can't feel (As if you didn't already know that). So.. the next time one asks you if you have forgotten about him/her, then saying "out of sigh, out of mind" does not really justify why you haven't called them out or even for a chat for ages. It'll prolly just make things worse.

I mean, how unimportant can one be to not be remembered!?

Attending to more urgent or important things are fair enough reasons.
Don't say you don't remember me because I am out of you sight. It hurts.
Because I remember you even if it's just in my dreams!
Talk about information overload.

My mind can't contain that much anymore, I need to find a place to leave my thoughts.
This totally reminds me of the Pensieve that Professor Dumbledore has in Harry Potter.
Grin. I'd really like one of those.

Here's one thing that will never leave my mind.
The more I am distressed, the longer it stays in my mind.
Simply love it.

I sooo need a beach house somewhere.. (Over the rainbow!).
From the sunset to the moon, stars, sky.
Gotta love it!
Can't pay me enough for it to leave my mind. Ever.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I put my pen down and learn to type.

So we all judge.
Big deal!

I have recently realised that we are all predisposed to stereotypes, and with that, we insist on judging people even from the first time we meet. A mere 20-second timeframe is enough too size someone up and that impression is stuck there for as long as possible, if not, forever. 

I have learned not to give much care to what others think of me. Except those who matter, of course. As a result of that, many don't really know me as I am. But if you take the time and bothered to care, you'd realise I'm not the person you supposedly think I am. Most of the time I shield myself behind this mask, to protect myself, maybe, I don't really know. The bottom line is that I'm often misunderstood. And I rarely give a crap about it. But I sure as hell know how it feels.

The purpose of this post, of course, has nothing to do with my being misunderstood. On the contrary, I'd like to express my two cents of how I have often mistunderstand others, whether friends or acquaintances. As for strangers, you can't really blame me. 

Judging isn't wrong. I think it's a natural process to protect ourselves from harm. But when it gets out of hand, it hurts people. I met a friend the other day, someone whom I have stereotyped for a long time.  Not that I thought he was a bad person, just a person different from the real him. At the same time, he never really expressed this part of him, and mostly just portrayed himself to be the person whom I (and most of the world) stereotyped him to be. Then, I realised that it's really my fault because I never really gave him a chance. I never took the time to know him better, or even to understand where is he coming from. There must be a reason for a person to choose not to portray himself as he is. I should know. I am one of them.

It got me thinking on a larger scale that, I have often misjudged others and because of that sometimes, a relationship (not just bgr, but even as friends or companions) cannot be formed. It's like a wall you build that causes no loss to anyone else but you. You lose that friendship, you lose that moment in your life when that person may actually help you be a better person in this world. 

I often admire those who are more honest about themselves and what they think. It's not that I'm a hypocrit, I just prefer to keep things to myself. Personal things about me and my thoughts about the world. 

This is about to change, with this blog, I hope. I need to express myself, and here's where I begin.