Friday, June 19, 2009

The Necessary Evil

I have been having some time to think things over lately.
Well, I've always had the time,
but really, I've been putting more time into thinking about life as itself lately.

One of the things that really disturbs me is how people grow further apart.
For various reasons, of course.
These reasons, (to be really crude or just plain honest about it) are really excuses.
Distances, time differences, etc..
Hey, with technology these days, there are really so many ways to to keep in touch and still maintain that strong relationship with a friend or even family members.

Then again, everyone is guilty of this someway or another.
Yours truly included.

But my point is really about how people change overtime.
I suppose it boils down to priorities.
What matters in one's life may not really change,
but the urgency of that matter may have been altered and somehow,
this would affect one's relationship with the people around them.

I should know.
I've done it before.
Been there, done that!
Fortunately for me, my bestfriend pulled me back into the circle before it got too out of hand.
It's really not that big a deal, except that what seems to matter then was not as important as I thought it was.
I know that I'm losing sense, but bear with me.
I really do have a point.

Have you ever felt as if you're losing interest in things that used to be so important?
Sure you have.
Why? Because priorities change.

And when you do lose interest in certain pursues, do you feel as if you're giving up (to a certain extent) a part of this relationship you had with the people who share these interests?
I believe so.
Why? Because you're growing apart.
Your common ground has been tempered with.

So after a while, these people just don't bother to call anymore.
Which is fine.
But still, it does sting when the reality that you no longer have much in common with the people you once cared for or loved hits you.

Yeah, so it happens to everyone.
But it's a shame when you lose a good friend in the process of growing up.
I should know how that feels.
I do.

Another personal experience would be that as time passes by,
I feel much more like the person that people expected me to be.
The people who really matters and truly cared for me.
Surely, I know that now.
But at that time, these expectations seemed so ridiculous.
But I've had time to taste all that I needed to taste in order to be the person that I am today.
So, there.
Then necessary evil.

Time is a factor.
But time also became a hindrance because,
this experience of tasting life in order to grow and mature came too late.
And because of that,
I've lost one or two who really mattered to me.
Literally lost them in the midst of my growing up.
In fact, I should be so brave to say that they still matter to me.

So, in a way I feel as if time has played a joke on me.
I have lost those who truly matters in pursue of this temporary need to satisfy my hunger,
necessary of course, because it made me who I am today.
As this hunger has been fed, I no longer feel the need to feed on these pursues.
This would result in me being the person I am Now. Today. This moment. Period.
And the Mystery of Life lives up to its name again because at this very moment,
I am the person who I should have been before I lost these people.

At the end of the day, I have made a circle.
Went round and came back the person that I was suppose to be in the past.
But it came too late.

It's miserable.
But I'm working on making my peace with that mystery.

the Necessary Evil strikes.
Be careful people;
be watchful of the person you are turning out to be.


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