CAKE

I just watched a movie that inspired me to live this life. For the moment.


Cake.


Mainly, it highlights the idea of being free- a travel journalist who has to settle to help her father by being an editor for one of his many magazines. In my humble opinion, it managed to zoom into the view of a person who sets her own rules and all the dramas she had to go through in order to do 'what is expected of her'.


As the movie develops, I feel like it is speaking to me because it is so much like my life right now.
In fact, at some point a character actually said to her,
"Your grammar sucks, but you're creative. Figure it out!',
of which the boyf immediately turned to me and said,


"Hey baby, that's you!". -_-


I was raised to plan for a stable life. Something that guarantees you a 'comfortable' life. I don't plan to defy that, but in the meantime I'd like to deviate a little bit to do something else.


And I really want to do this. Write.
I just need the right equipments - inspiration and tools that actually work.


Xx.

Rigid.

It has been such a long time since I felt like blogging. Mainly because, I don't know what to talk about.
For one, I'd like to think that my life is going the way I planned. But it's not.
Secondly, I know that when I want something, I want it now, and there's no negotiation. And the thing about wanting to pursue dreams is that, we need patience. 
Another thing I lack.

I have wanted to be a clinical psychologist ever since I first tried it out as a lowly intern. And I believe I have what it takes to be one. I suppose the university professors think otherwise because I've been rejected from almost every university I've applied to. You have no idea how demotivated I feel right now, because I am not used to being rejected or thought unworthy of something. If I want something, I always made sure I'm good enough to get it. Clearly not.


It makes me wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I was not educated in Australia, per se. That my degree was from a local, albeit private Malaysian university is unfortunately, not at par with the Australian standards. But what about the accreditation from the Australian Psychological Society? Isn't that good enough for you?.. Or that I do hold a scroll from Lancaster University, as well? 


I do not regret pursuing a 'local' degree (from a Malaysian perspective), because I have experienced a life changing course, learned the skills needed to survive in this big, bad world, and have, made friends with not only my peers but with my educators. I believe that I would not be the way I am today, thinking and making judgments as I do, speaking as you see me do if it wasn't for what I have obtained if not by the piece of scrolled-up paper we call a degree, then by the teachings and exposure I was fortunate enough to experience.
 
In some ways or another, I believe that there are a series of events in the past that could only lead up to where I am standing right now, or rather, sitting, if you must (I don't really make it a habit to type standing). But I'd hate to admit that there is nothing I can do right now to change my circumstances.


I do not believe that only educational institutions dictate who is good enough and who isn't, for the very fact that these decisions of who is in and who is out were not made fairly. How is it decided who would be good enough to make your faculty proud? By assessing solely based on our exam results or rather, academic ratings? How is that fair when the educational system is so different,  thereby requiring students to study in different manners, depending on which part of the world you're in. In that case, I think it is fair to bring to mind that one person would definitely be better than others one way than the other. Some believe in MCQ's while the other institution does not even have a single MCQ, forcing the students to memorize all their textbooks and journals to regurgitate everything out again as whole essays. In the end, who is the judge that my A's are better than your A's? To which system owns this superiority?


All I am saying is, give the individual a chance to prove himself or herself worthy of what they want because everything is subjective. Why succumb to the vicious cycle of rigidness in a system that would only be the end of us. 


Why all this rigidity?


Xx. 

Resolutions

Every turn of a new year, most of us would be cracking our brains and scratching our heads to figure out a long list of resolutions- some sort of a change within and about ourselves that we’d like to make for the new year. We all grow up and we all mature as the months pass us by and then we say we’d like to make a change. If you are anything like me then, by the end of January I’d forget everything I have decided to do for the year.

This year, however, I am determined to do something different.

Instead of making a change of myself, I’d like to make a change for others.

In 2010, I started on a project I’d like to continue on in my life, but as my current situation doesn’t allow me to do so, I’m going to start on something “closer to home”, in a manner of speaking. I’d like to light the fire in old friendships, keep in touch with those I’ve lost touch with over the years (I’m hardly proud to admit this because of all the technological ways I could have kept in touch with said persons), and just to keep the conversation going among friends.

And I’m going to start with Facebook.

So, ready or not, old friends, here I come knocking on the door of your FB inbox.

Xx.

P.s. I’d also like to make new ones (in the old-fashioned manner – and I mean in a f2f kind of way).

My Christmas!

 Christmas was anything but dull, this year.


I celebrated it with the boyf's family and it was bliss. Mainly because of his kid half-sister, who is btw, adorable. 


Morning call was at 6.30 in the a.m., of course, with the little one jamming her way through our room door. If that wasn't bad enough, her brother decided to shout at her.. Which inevitably woke me up till I absolutely cannot find a way get back into my REM cycle. So, to the lounge we went, half asleep and hair undone, in our PJ's and dragging ourselves to where the family was gathered.


Under the Christmas tree were presents, evidently enough for 40 people. But nope, there were about 45 presents to be shared among 7 people. Grin. 


Best Christmas ever! I'd post pictures of them once I've figured out a way to photoshop the people out. It is, after all, a family function and unfortunately for you, this means that there were kids and the aged involved. As such, it is a private affair, yo! 


Nevertheless, have a very merry berry Christmas! 
(Hey, I believe in the whole 12 days of Christmas bonanza, and frankly, so should you!)


Anywayyy... Happy Holidays from down under!!


Xx.

All I want for Christmas, well, among other things.

I’m on a holiday right now. I’ve been on holiday for a verry, verry, long time.

Now, for those of you who don’t know me- I am not a bum. I really don’t want to be a bum. Neither do I enjoy being a bum.. I haven’t been doing much of anything that contributes to society or AND most of myself for the past few months. But I have been trying to get myself somewhere when the new year starts.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am currently unemployed because I really want to pursue a postgraduate degree. Now, whilst I really want to achieve this milestone in life, let it be known that it is also necessary to get this damn degree because society dictates that without this damn piece of paper, you’re worth nothing.

As a result, I cannot get a job. And without this job experience, these universities don’t seem to want to accept me as their Clinical Psychology student. And if I don’t get accepted as a student and graduate from a university with this specific training, nobody wants to hire me. Talk about a “chicken or egg” problem. FML -_-

I have attended a few interviews and I have yet to be contacted by several other universities, apart from those who has rejected me, apparently for my lack of experience in this area. One other university was not impressed by my results, so that is fair enough. But to say I lack experience is just plain unfair because nobody is willing to let me work my way up or observe their work. So I suppose all my volunteering work in an intellectual disability centre was in vain. FML.

And that, is the update of my current life. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll get some good news before Christmas. Heck, I just need ONE good news, and I’ll be a happy girl for the rest of my life.. Or something like that.

And that, Santa, is all I want for Christmas, this year.

Xx.

My Sunshine!

Today is a special day because it's one of my darlingest friend's birthday!


We've been friends for over 10 years now, and although we've had our ups and downs throughout these years, I daresay my life would have been less cheerful without her. Over our years in school and over 2 years being inseparable because we were in the same class, I'd have to say she's one of those I miss being with most.. Despite the distance, she always manage to make me smile with her silliness on fb and msn and the such. Unfortunately, she doesn't have SKYPE yet !! (oyh woman, get skype!!  Or do I have to do it for you!!? You know I will.. ). Somehow she knows when I'm feeling down the most and manages to send sweet messages online to light up my day! 


So here's to you!

Happy Birthday, my dearest Lay Ean!

Wish I was there to celebrate it with you..

Much love.

Xx.

BBQ @ Mordialloc Beach!

The other day I decided that I needed to hit the beach.
And that I really wanted some hotdogs!
Therefore, I planned some BBQ moments on the beach with some friends.


As Sheldon Cooper would say 
'I accept your premises, I reject your conclusion'.


But I mean, it really made sense to me, at that time, to have a BBQ on the beach.
So, I gathered my peoples and checked the weather forecast for a good sun-shiny day. As it turned out, it was the ONLY sun-shiny day last week in Melbourne. ptl. Grin.

As the idiot in me forgot to bring my camera for the once in a lifetime occasion, damnit, here are some photos I had to steal from FB. Thank you, guys! - Chloe Cheung, Nick Betts, Claire Minkyeong Kim, Monica Minjung Kim and Leon Toh.

Preparing for lunch!

As idiots of the highest order, we forgot to buy water so we had to.. manage.

The boyf, modelling. Or at least attempting to.

Dear Sun, tan us up, yo!

Our very own.. Korean babes!

The camwhore in me (with Nick Bett's camera)

Peoples: Someone go test the water. See if it's swimmable.

Me: I'll go.. Brr.

Grin. All in the name of fun.

Xx.