Thursday, January 7, 2010

Trapped.


Yesterday morning, I accepted defeat.

I have a dream that seems impossible to get to.
It's really not that difficult, and to some it might even seem ridiculously simple.
But I allowed circumstances to stop me.
I stopped fighting because I almost gave up hope.

So he asked:
Jo, why do you allow these boundaries to stop you?
Last night, I went out with a friend who changed my opinions on certain things in life, permanently.
Life in general, philosophy, great quotes, religion, opinions, culture-
you name it, we discussed it. Disputed, agreed, laughed, joked and reminiscent.

It's really unfair that these moments come by so rarely.
To be able to share the same kind of humour with someone comes by so rarely over this side of the world.
People are content here with their simple minded opinions.
Some don't even have opinions, if I may be so crude to make such accusations.

I have great friends, intelligent and successful beyond their ages.
It saddens me that they only see life based on their small, almost non-existent being in this large world.
There's so much more to life if one would just look at the bigger picture.
But, no one seems remotely interested about the things that makes us who we are.

So, I now understand what I am going through.
Through the eyes of another person.
He feels as trapped as I do.

Not depressed, not distressed.

We are Trapped.
Not because we didn't try. I think it's safe to conclude on my part that I tried to fit in here.

But no one seems bothered about what really matters to me.
Not over this part of the world, anyway.

So, I made a note to myself last night.
That I'll make a conscious effort to make myself happy.
I will not allow the circumstances to come in my way.

Perhaps it will be a better year this one.
I just needed to see it from another person's point of view.
I needed to see my life from another person's point of view.

Xx.

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